I've pondered and considered various posts for this blog. Since I am --ahem-- over - um - 36, well, I've been thinking about my life's course. I've done some reading and some research and some investigation. I thought maybe a blog post about one's life path would be worthwhile. Naturally, if you've read any of this blog you know I am thinking about this because of my age, my mid life status.
How far should duties, obligations to others push you? When should you live your life by your intuition, your timeclock, your internal sense of right, your internal truth, your heart? Musician Ben Lee has been quoted as saying that ..." you can get cancer if you fight what your heart's telling you to do. I used to be fighting the world, trying to prove something to someone (though I can't for the life of me remember what I had to prove, and to whom). But all of that has faded. [I have] joy now, and I'm looking for a different experience."
An Australian MBA graduate wrote that: Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Then ask yourself and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
In Martha Beck's book, "Finding Your Own North Star", the author tells us that the human body's gut feelings and emotions can help guide a wayward soul back to his or her "essential self." Explore your heart's desires and the vast social webs that keep such desires in check. The goal is not to entirely forsake the "social self" and indulge every emotional impulse of the "essential self" but to harmonize these typically divergent voices. Beck admits that repairing a damaged emotional compass and setting out on such a vital journey--which often involves painful realizations and changes--can be painful. But the payoff, she concludes, is a love affair with life. Beck teaches that each individual has a core personality that encompasses one's desires, emotions and preferences, which is sometimes blocked by a social self that responds to external influences and cultivates survival skills. Perhaps her most facinating advice evolves around learning how to read warnings from the essential self: low energy, lapses into illness, forgetfulness, addictions, Freudian slips and mood swings.You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Steven Jobs, founder of Apple and Pixar, wrote that "this approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life".
In a speech delivered to new graduates, Jobs talked at length about life's paths and the changes that come. "You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle." You can begin to feel more alive every day when you start accessing yout true self and discover the path that fascinates, excites and delights you.
Look in the mirror every morning and asked yourself:
“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”
Whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, you know you need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool Steven Jobs believes you can use to help make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life
Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking
Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want.